"Return to infancy and return to God"

Bernanos acknowledged "that in the middle of his life, populated already with so many of [the] dead, 'the deadest of the dead' was the little boy he once was.  But he soon made haste to add:  'And yet, the hour is coming [when] it is [that little boy] who will retake his place at the head of my life, reassemble my poor years right up to the last, and—like a young captain [reassembling] his [grizzled] veterans, [and] rallying the disordered troup—enter first into the house of the Father.'"

     Georg Bernanos, as quoted by Jean-Pierre Batut.  "De la nature à la gloire, la grâce de la maladie," Communio:  revue international catholique 39, no. 3 (mai-juin 2014:  105 (97-107).
     I now have the official translation by Michael J. Miller (Communio:  international Catholic review 41, no. 3 (2014):  515-528):

Recall Bernanos, admitting that in the middle of his life, which was already populated by so many dead people, 'the most dead of the dead' was the little boy he used to be, although he hastened to add immediately:  'And yet, when the hour comes, he will be the one to take his place again at the head of my life, he will gather up my poor years down to the last one, and like a young leader rallying the veterans in his disorderly troop, will enter first into the Father's House.'