Man loves God not so as to refer God to himself, but rather himself to God

"The part . . . love[s] the good of the whole . . . not . . . so as to refer the good of the whole to itself, but rather itself to the good of the whole."

"bonum totius diligit quidem pars secundum quod est sibi conveniens, non autem ita quod bonum totius ad se referat, sed potius ita quod seipsam refert in bonum totius."

     St. Thomas Aquinas, ST II-II.26.3 ("Whether, out of charity, man is bound to love God more than himself").ad 2, FEDP.  Latin from Corpus Thomisticum.  From ad 3:

That a man wishes to enjoy [(frui)] God pertains to that love of God which is love of concupiscence [(amore concupiscentiae)].  Now we love God with the love of friendship [(amore amicitiae)] more than with the love of concupiscence, because the Divine good is greater in itself, than our share of good in enjoying Him [(quia maius est in se bonum Dei quam participare possumus fruendo ipso)]. Hence, out of charity, man simply loves God more than himself.

Note that this means that the love of friendship (a major theme in Aquinas on the relationship with himself that God desires to effect in us) is the love of charity.

     My own paraphrase of those last two sentences:  The goodness of God is infinitely greater than that "portion" of it that we will ever (even, presumably, in glory) have the capacity to participate in by way of personal fulfillment.  So we must also love God with the love of friendship, i.e. charity, i.e. the Love by which God loves his own infinite goodness.